Falling Alone
by Zaywrites
Summary: I tried to hold on, but you were no longer there.
1. Chapter 1

**Falling Alone**

 _Inspired by Aimer's song, Falling Alone, in her album Daydream, featuring Takahiro Moriuchi of One Ok Rock. He composed the song._

First few sentences are in third-person's point of view then it shifts to Fine's after the italicized statement. It was extremely difficult for me to write in first person's point of view. I apologize if you find some mistakes.

* * *

 _Shade chases after whatever he wants and Fine was there to support him no matter what._

Fine was sure it was not just infatuation.

It was more of a responsibility.

Loving him was her responsibility.

Their parents became friends as they attended the same day care in pre-school.

Since then, they were always stuck together.

No matter how rude or arrogant he is, she was always there to share whatever she has.

They enrolled in the same primary school. Due to the reason that they do not know their new classmates, they decided to stick together.

 _But… it's more like I decided to stick to him._

Shade was very independent. He can adapt to any situation while I can't even ask for my seatmate's name. Our classmates would always call him out to play during breaks, while I remained in my seat, waiting for someone to talk to me… which never happened actually.

My parents are divorced and my older sister stayed with our father in Tokyo. There's no one I could talk to but him. He's the only one I have.

I decided I would always observe him, even if it's just from afar.

That's when I realized…

Shade couldn't do anything by himself anymore. Because of some family problem which he always refused to share, I decided to do some research. His father left their family and Milky, his little sister, was in the custody of his grandparents. He was left with his mother who is bed ridden. In fact, I received all the information, first-hand from his mother.

Since then, Shade, who was always calm and reserved, frequently snaps and gets aggravated even in trivial things.

"Shade, can you erase the board?" Our teacher asked with a warm smile on her face. He's the tallest in class so he would always get the tasks where height matters.

Shade just stared at her then at the eraser with an indifferent expression.

"T-teacher… I'll do it!" I volunteered, giving our teacher a thumb up. After scanning my height, our teacher gave me a worried glance.

"I can do it!" I guaranteed as I pulled a chair and began scrubbing the blackboard with my small arms.

That is when he will put his hand above mine and we would accomplish the task together.

In return, I gave him an inquiring look. After I made that face, he would eventually lift an eyebrow and crinkle his nose. It was the gesture that was burned in my mind, the gesture I've memorized.

"What?" He spat then narrowed his eyes. "Two hands are better than one." he reasoned out, frowning.

I felt my cheeks warm. Though it's like that, I never saw him smile like he did before.

We still had the same interaction but it was different from before.

He would always run into fights, not with our classmates but with older people who are ten times bigger than him.

He became more reckless and short-tempered as we approached our last years in primary school.

He would cut off our teachers in discussions, walk out of the room during class hours, slack off on group activities even if his participation is highly sought.

After graduating, I decided.

I would always be there for him. I don't need him to do the same thing.

It doesn't matter if I can't reach his side. I'm all right with the space behind him. As long as he's within eyeshot, it's okay.

Friend or not, he can keep me till the end.

In middle school, my father asked if I would want to continue my studies in Tokyo. It was a good opportunity, but it's tolerable to lose something if it's for him.

"Fine…" The way he articulates my name would automatically grab my attention, no matter what I'm doing.

"Hm?" I hum in reply.

He occupied the space beside me and I would use all the seconds I have to admire him in our new uniform.

With his usual scowl, he muttered under his breath. "Do you think I could be a professional tennis player?" His hands found its way to the back of his neck as he leaned back comfortably.

I mused over his words before answering. "Well, why not?" He lifts an eyebrow and crinkles his nose. I saw that gesture coming.

He pouts and bored his nonchalant eyes on mine. "You think so. I can do it, right?" he asked to double-check.

"Of course!" I cheered, giving him the assuring pat that he needs.

The calm air ruffled his bangs and I saw the strange flicker of warmth in his eyes.

"Okay. I'll hand over an application," he responds, stretching his arms. He gave me a side glance then he sauntered off.

I would lift a hand and wave a hand at him though he had his back turned already.

I would always stand behind him, reaching out a hand to give him the inevitable push that he needs.

I would always expect myself to clean after his mess.

I would always lose something for his gain.

But, I wonder, did he ever appreciate any of those?

Shade did join the school's tennis team. In a matter of months, the name Shade Serizawa alarmed the other schools, even the elite ones.

He even received some invitations from powerhouse schools where he could refine his skills. He triggered the best among the best.

But, before his team could reach nationals, they lost a game in regionals. He was endowed with agility, speed, and quick reflexes. He only lacked in cooperation and generous behavior.

But the factor which always pulled him back is that…

He had to do everything by himself. His teammates were not as skilled as he is.

He had to pull them up with him, which he always considered as extra baggage to his trip to nationals.

After the tournament, I decided to follow him back to their quarters. I don't know if he even noticed my presence. Only bad things are bound to happen whenever he encountered such disheartening outcomes.

Angry wouldn't describe him. He was so depressed. Who wouldn't? He won every single match but he never had that support from his team.

I saw some of his teammates packing already. Shade flopped on a chair with a towel draped over his head. His messed up bangs covered his eyes, sweat (or are those tears?) slid off his chin.

Is he crying?

I could feel my chest tighten at the thought of him crying.

The murmurs of the upperclassmen caught my attention. I turned to Shade and he was listening too.

"That last set was a bit difficult. Well, we're playing some tough guys after all. We couldn't do anything about it—"

" _We?_ " Shade interrupted, followed by a sneer which contrasted the death glare he puts on.

All heads turned to him. Tension filled the atmosphere.

"H-hey, you sound scary…" one of his teammates pointed out.

"If I was the one standing there, we couldn't have lost that stupid last set!" He roared.

I gasped as Shade smashed a blameless water jug on the floor. Of all the times I saw him get furious, this was the first time I felt really frightened of him. Was he always this scary?

I looked over his upperclassmen and they were as startled as I.

"Wh-what are you talking about? We're a team…" Their team captain tried to explain.

Shade scoffed, giving the older student an incredulous look. "Let's face it. Without me, you couldn't even have reached this far." he smugly spoke.

That was the last straw.

One of his teammates grabbed a tennis racket and was ready to smash it in his skull. The other tennis players, even those who just happened to witness the entire scene, helped in preventing anything worse than accident to happen.

"What did you say?!" The furious guy hollered, fighting his way out of the hands that restraints his movements.

I lost my voice at the moment. Shade slumped on a corner, dull eyes fixed on the ceiling.

I lunged myself between them.

"S-sempai!" I almost screamed. I was surprised myself at what I did.

I shook my head, collapsed on my knees and pressed my forehead on the ground. "He's just exhausted from the game. I'm sorry…" I mumbled.

I could hear the team captain snicker. "No apologies needed. He's kicked out of the team."

 _Kicked out of the team? Isn't Shade the one who worked so hard for this?_

My mind went blank.

That took the last shred of patience I've been holding since I watched the entire match. I slowly lifted my head and looked at Shade over my shoulder.

 _Shade chased after those tennis balls like his life defended on it. But… you guys just went out there on the court and played your halfhearted games…_

 _Do you know how much it hurts me to tend his bruises after practice? Every week a new wound appears on his body, there's no way you failed to observe that!_

"H-he…" I stammered out of anger, pulling myself up. I bored my eyes to the team captain's face. He lifted an eyebrow, and I fought the urge to wipe off that smug grin in his face.

"Without him, you wouldn't even know how regional games would feel like!" I lashed out, making sure my glare was pointed at each one of them.

The proud team captain scoffed. I was sure warm tears are already streaming down my face.

"Wah, really now, Kojima? Well, birds of the same feather flock toge—"

I closed my eyes shut, forcing the tears to stop. I wondered why the team captain was unable to finish his statement.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw the guy sprawled limply on the ground, blood rushing out of his nose.

I felt air leave my lungs. Did Shade do this?

"Say whatever you want to me. Not her." Shade spoke in a threatening tone which I never heard him use before.

The words are caught in my throat. I couldn't ask him to stop.

People are rushing to him, clutching his arms and torso before he could launch another hefty punch on the guy's face.

I wanted to pull him out of there but my feet refused to move.

I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and before I knew it, we were already out of there.

He released my hand and flopped on the nearest bench. His head bowed, sheens of sweat trickled down his skin.

It took me a few seconds before I found my voice again.

"Hey. Are you all right?" I asked.

"No." He answered without lifting his head to look at me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I mumbled back.

Silence fell over between us and I racked my brain for some encouraging words. But, because it's Shade, I wonder if my words ever reached his heart.

"You could still go to nationals. The upperclassmen just wanted to create happy memories while they're still part of the team. That's why they didn't want to argue about that last set." I explained, hoping it would somehow relieve him from all the burdens he carries on his back… alone.

He just stared at me. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing my brain to come up with a better statement.

"Y-you're just starting, Shade!" I cheered. "You're still in first year! You can still work your way to nationals! That way, you can show them that you were unaffected!"

I know I sounded annoying. Shade hates it when I speak continuously and loudly.

But it's better if he would screech or yell or say something that would remind me of my place. I can't take it when he's like this, impassive, unmoving.

"You think I can do it?" he asked. It surprised me, for him to say something positive is something worth remembering.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

Shade did reach nationals but he grew tired of the sport.

But I decided not to get tired of him, no matter which path he takes. I will not stop until I get to hear his heart.

We graduated middle school and were both admitted at the same high school. I was determined to maintain our friendship even if we are in different sections. He happened to score higher after all.

Every time I pass his classroom, I would always glare at the wall that separates us. And whenever he caught me doing it, he would always lift an eyebrow and crinkle his nose. Old habits really die hard.

This time, our circle of friends expanded. We met various people who we didn't expect would stay with us throughout the semester. It was great to find others we can rely on.

But…

Before I knew it, our worlds were starting to grow apart. He was always with the blonde guy from his class, while I spent most of my time with some of the girls in class.

He no longer asked for help. Well, he never did ask for help. I just happened to offer my assistance before he could even ask.

I don't know if he sees me important.

His presence was highly sought, mine's not.

The distance between us made me see that I am no longer needed. Or was I really needed to start with?

I wanted to stop reaching out, but I knew it was impossible.

One afternoon, as I cleaned the classroom, I suddenly felt a hand firmly placed on top of mine as I cleaned the blackboard.

I instantly felt my pulse accelerate in incredible speed. He was here. My back pressed on his broad, hard chest.

He began moving our hands in sync. The chalk dust drizzled over my hair but it didn't matter. I looked up and his eyes met my questioning glance.

"What?" He frowns. "Two hands are better than one." He adds.

I stifled a giggle and it made him scoff.

I grabbed another eraser then returned to cleaning the blackboard.

"Four hands are better than two." I beamed. My heart did another flip when he placed his freehand on the other eraser,on top of my hand.

My voice died when I heard a chuckle behind me. Is he… laughing? Shade is laughing?!

His chest was vibrating. There's no doubt about it.

I didn't dare look at him because he might stop. I forced the tears to stay at bay. He might think I'm being overdramatic again.

 _You just don't know how much I missed you…_

Before we realized, his arms were already wrapped around me. He pulled away, almost dropping the eraser as he stumbled back.

I frowned at the lack of warmth but made sure to hide it.

"Fine…" he suddenly called, which dropped my senses back to Earth.

"Yes?" I quickly responded.

He pulled a chair and flopped on it. "Do you think I can play volleyball too?" He asked, looking at me with his usual impassive look.

"There's no harm in trying." I answered with a shrug.

His shoulders slumped and his eyes looked through the window. "Okay, I'll give it a shot." he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair before putting it back on his pants' pocket.

His broad back mocked me as he walked away… away from me. I was always looking at him from behind.

I didn't know…

That it would be my last conversation with him…

I would have asked him to stay longer…

To stay longer in my gaze…

I couldn't understand why…

Shade was no longer within eye shot… and I was forced to stop reaching out.

* * *

Originally a Brein One Shot. But, our dear blonde guy was never rude to begin with. Rein has an important role to play so, I switched her with Fine.

Feedback to Heartache:

 **Hoshizora Rein _._** I'm really sorry for what I did to Bright. It's a oneshot and I couldn't think of anything to continue it. Thank you for the first review.

 **Pudina.** Yeah, the ending was such a cliffhanger. I'm sorry but I couldn't come up with ideas that would continue the story.

 **Random Person.** Thank you for always reading my stories and updates.

 **Miyuki Chiyo.** Yeah, I don't like love triangles too. I really felt sorry for Bright. I'm glad he's an anime character or he would've hated me now.

 **Cherrione.** Well, because of the heartache I've experienced, I thought of hurting the guys in my stories. Haha, kidding.

Anyways, this story... ended with a cliffhanger, just like Heartache. I could write part two but that depends if you guys want me to write it.

Comments, reactions, questions, hit the review button so I would know. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

**Falling Alone**

Shade did say he's going to give it a shot. I know he can do anything once he sets his mind to it.

But, what he earned is more than what I've imagined.

In just a few weeks, Shade was labeled as the most popular guy by the entire student body. Not only he's amazing in playing volleyball, he also got that irresistible appeal while playing.

The big difference in our schedule had put me out of action.

Whenever I try to visit him in their club room, it's either he already went home or he's busy with some errands.

I have always been working hard to make myself useful to him.

I think it's reasonable to use myself for my benefit too.

But, is there anything I can do which does not involve him?

Summer arrived and my father returned home. Of course, my sister was with him.

"Fine?"

I felt the weight in my chest dissipate when my sister called out.

"Rein!" I squealed and launched myself to her, causing us to tumble on the ground.

We laughed until tears leaked out of our eyes.

"It's been forever…" she commented, pulling herself up.

I looked up at her then at her outstretched hand which I eagerly took.

"Yeah…" I answered with a nod.

I knew it would be better with Rein around. She's very knowledgeable with this stuff so I decided to talk about it with her. I refused to mention Shade's name whenever we talked. Until now, the subject of our small talks about love is anonymous.

She gave me lots of advice and I was so glad she can help.

But…

I shouldn't have showed her around the school and took her to one of Shade's matches.

Rein was never the athletic type. She does not like sitting in a court for hours, where the scent of sweat lingers. She hates it when the smell clings on her clothes or when it mixes with her perfume.

I carefully chose a seat where the air roams freely so she can somehow enjoy watching.

The volleyball tournament was a huge success especially for Shade's team. They got a ticket to nationals and it's a sure win.

I asked Rein if we could at least congratulate him before we go home. She just returned a warm smile and a nod.

"Congratulations…" I bashfully spoke and held out my hand. He looked at me then shook my hand.

His hand has many callouses. Well, he practiced for over three months straight after all. The way our hands brushed made me remember our last conversation before he joined the volleyball team.

I wonder if I can hear his laugh again.

"Thanks…" He simply replied. His eyes darted to Rein who was standing behind me with a face that rivals a stone.

"Ah, she's my sister," I introduced, grabbing Rein's attention.

"Congratulations. That was a great match," She mumbled softly, briefly meeting his eyes.

Shade scoffed at my sister's attitude. "Sarcastic much, princess?" he remarks.

Rein lifts an eyebrow, daring him to say anything that would further aggravate her.

"Hey, l-look at the time!" I exclaimed my pathetic excuse.

"Let's go home, Rein." I urged, giving Shade one last glance before we strode off.

My heart stopped when a smile tugged his lips. It was the smile which he never showed before.

But… it was aimed at Rein.

I stumbled over my steps which caused my sister to turn around. I apologized and pushed her shoulders a little forceful so she would continue walking forward.

I didn't like the way they exchanged glances.

Since then, I didn't know what happened but he was really interested with my sister.

He frequently drops by our place just to mess her mood. When I asked, he said he likes the "thrill of the chase".

That's when I realized…

I didn't know him anymore. Unlike when we were younger, he was like an open book to me.

After the first semester, Shade was suspended from practice because he pummeled the team captain.

That increased his chances to hang out in our house. The usual weekends turned daily.

"Ow!" He hissed as I pressed an ice pack on his bruised cheek.

I bit my lip and withdrew my hand. "I'm sorry. I have no idea how to do first aid." I sheepishly grinned.

He lifted an eyebrow and crinkled his nose. My eyes made an involuntary squint at the gesture.

"You act like a guy after all," Shade muttered under his breath, giving me an indifferent glance.

"What did you say?!" I retorted, adding pressure to the ice pack on his cheek. Pain shot through him, causing him to double over.

A string of curses left his mouth as he caressed his cheek. I stifled a laugh.

"I wish I have a girlfriend…" I heard him grumble.

"Hmm?" I hummed and moved my ear closer.

"Fine…" He whispered, boring his eyes on mine.

"What?" I stated a little too quickly. I felt my breath caught when he bashfully averted his gaze.

"Do you think I have a chance?" He asked, his eyes had a stern glint in them. It was different from his usual nonchalant expression.

"E-eh?" I choked out, careful not to miss any word he's going to say. I suppressed a blush as he placed a hand at the back of my neck, my face drawn on his shoulder and his breath tickling my ear.

He took a deep breath then whispered, "Will Rein like me?"

My eyes dilated as his words registered. We pulled away, my eyes deliberately searched his face for lies.

 _Please tell me you're lying!_ I chanted loudly in my head. I unconsciously buried my face on my palm as I felt pain penetrate my head.

I waited for him to take those words back. I wanted him to say it's a joke. I silently begged he would at least say never mind or simply shrug it off.

But he never did any of those.

He just looked at me, patiently waiting for my response.

"Oh, Rein? Of course!" I forced out. I encouraged him again, just like what I did before.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" As if on cue, Rein marched in the living room. She took a seat opposite us, her eyes speculating.

"None of your business," Shade bantered. The curiosity in her eyes was immediately replaced with rage.

"You're making it fast to my no-list," she bickers.

"Who says I want to make it to your yes-list?" he smirked.

At that moment, I realized…

I was removed in his life.

But I wasn't able to move on.

Rein said she already answered yes. Stubbornly, I refused to believe it though I heard it first-hand from her.

 _Why didn't I say the guy I love was Shade? Rein could have re-considered. The outcome would have changed._

 _But…_

 _Shade hates selfish people._

 _I still consider him above my feelings._

"Hey, uh, have you seen Sha—" I approached one of the upperclassmen but Bright interrupted.

"Serizawa? He didn't finish practice."

"Uh, okay. Thank you," I forced out, suppressing the disappointment that latches in my tone.

I was already out of the court when I felt a hand tap my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Bright.

"Uh, sorry. But do me a favor, please." He requested. I returned a nod.

"Shade is not appearing in practice recently. Well, we do know he and captain are not in good terms but nationals is in a few weeks," Bright explains.

He's not attending practice?

"So, can you ask him to show up?" Bright asked, wiping a sweat sliding down his jawline.

"Okay, I'll give it a try. Shade does what he wants after all." I answered and heaved out a loud sigh.

That's right. He does what he wants. He lies and keeps everything a secret…

He pushed me away when I tried to reach out.

* * *

"Oh, long time no see, Serizawa…"

Shade was passing by a sidewalk when a familiar, gravelly voice called him from behind.

"Huh?" Shade apathetically replied.

He tediously turned his head and saw the sickening smile of his former tennis co-players back in middle school.

"Still got that irritating attitude, huh?" his former team captain comments, scrunching his nose.

Shade laughed, sending them a disgusted look.

"And what if I am?" He smugly replied.

"Don't get in your high horses, man." the former team captain hissed, clenching his jaw.

Shade gave a dismissive shrug. "Well, I heard you got your ass kicked by your longtime rival. I really felt sorry for you. If you had just kept me on the team, who knows, you would have been the happiest person right now." He taunted, smirking derisively.

"I'll kill you, Serizawa!" the guy snapped, lunging forward with a tennis racket.

Shade didn't expect they were also armed with pointed, blunt tools. He hissed distastefully when a knife pierced a muscle in his arm.

 _Fine..._

Was the last thought that appeared in his mind before he passed out.

* * *

Fine dropped by the park before heading home. It was empty at the moment, the atmosphere not helping to cure her anxiety and heartache.

She heaved out a heavy sigh, her head falling sideward as stress took its toll on her.

Her eyes fluttered shut and the warm orange glow filtered through her closed eyelids.

She looked up and the tree behind her gave her shade. Her shoulders slumped.

 _Shade…_

She felt her phone vibrate and saw a set of numbers displayed on her screen. She swiped her thumb on the answer button.

"Fine!" Before she could utter a word, Bright's bellow shook her entire being.

"Bright?" She choked out, trying to recover from shock.

"Shade is in critical condition right now!" His voice started cracking.

Fine felt her brain shut down. She had to use both her hands to grip the phone near her ear.

She can hear metal screeching, the sound of the stretcher being pulled towards the emergency room.

"Wh-what?" She couldn't stop a sob. It felt like someone delivered a fatal blow in her head and chest.

"I'll tell you the details later. He's in Miyabigaoka hospital," He spoke between ragged breaths.

She couldn't stop a whimper, much less form a word. She just nodded in reply, though Bright couldn't see her.

"Fine, he's in the emergency room now. That guy will survive it. You know that better than anyone else." Bright affirmed, trying to slow his breathing. Nervousness outweighed his composure.

"He'll crawl out of death's hands just to see you again..." He adds, hoping it would somehow calm her.

Fine mumbled "thank you" before disconnecting. Bright's alarming news robbed every fiber of strength in her body, causing her to throw up everything she ate for lunch.

She wanted to go right away but decided to take Rein.

Fine fumbled on her phone and her fingers quavered as she dialed her sister's number.

After a few, failed attempts of contacting Rein, Fine realized something.

Rein's phone is off because no one could bother her shopping.

She slapped her cheek in annoyance then ran off to Rein's favorite boutique.

"Rein!" Fine yelled, gathering the attention of all the customers.

Rein was standing beside the counter, grabbing her purchases. "Fine? What are you doing here?" She quietly asked.

Fine pulled her out of the shop. "You have to go with me." It sounded more demanding than she intended.

Shade comes first. There's no point in beating around the bush.

"Did something happen?" Rein asked, her lungs shallowly rose and fell.

Fine could tell that her sister already guessed that whatever happened is nothing but bad.

"Shade… Shade…" Fine felt her lips quiver. Her fear is getting bigger and bigger each second.

"He's escaping death in the hospital." She had to grip her sister's arm so she'll not entirely collapse on the ground.

Even Rein who has the ability to think straight even under dire situations, couldn't wrap her brain around anything after hearing those cruel words.

* * *

As they arrived in the hospital, Fine nearly threw up at the sight.

An open-fractured leg, a twisted arm, multiple stabs on his abdomen, purplish marks decorating his skin… Fine couldn't even distinguish his facial features.

But… she's sure it's Shade.

Her teeth sunk more deeply in her lower lip as she allowed her tears to slide. Rein slumped beside the hospital bed, clutching his hand like a lifeline.

Fine stood there remotely, her nails digging in her palms.

"I'm sorry I was a late." Bright muttered as he clenched his fists.

"No. If it wasn't because of you… he wouldn't have reached the hospital in time." She replied, her face stoic but her eyes red with strained tears.

Fine hated to admit it but she's relieved that at least, he's still alive. But she could never accept his condition right now.

"So… thank you." She lifted her head and mustered every ounce of courage she has.

She must stay strong. It's a self-rule.

Besides, Shade hates over dramatic people.

Weeks passed and Shade finally showed good signs of vitality.

"Fine, I'm going back to Tokyo."

Fine was fixing Shade's lunch when Rein's words broke her thoughts.

"Eh? But Shade is…" Fine spluttered. She dropped the ladle and entered her sister's room.

"I know. He's in good condition now so—" Rein explained, fixing her clothes in a luggage.

"So, it's okay to leave him? Does taking care of him equate to losing all your opportunities of good career in Tokyo?" Fine cuts off.

"No. That's not what I mean." Rein tried to reason out.

"How can you do this? You're his girlfriend, right?" Fine retorted.

Rein's head shot up. "Eh? What exactly is your point?" she spoke in a clipped tone, her eyes narrowed at Fine.

"Isn't it just right to put him on priority? Do you feel that he's pulling you down?" Fine didn't realize that her words were harshly pronounced.

"No! I don't, okay?" Rein answered as she placed her luggage back to the cabinet.

"He's not pulling me down. I'll do as you say. I'll stay with him, forever." She announced, striding towards the kitchen to pack the lunch.

"I'm sorry for spouting such words..." Fine muttered, eyes downcast.

"It's just that… all the people beside him always left him." She hissed.

That's why she never aimed for his side. She's okay with her place behind him.

Rein's eyes softened but regained her composure. "Why are you so hard on yourself? You're his most important girl, right?" She spoke as blunt as it needs.

"You underestimated yourself. All those things you did for him, big or small, it's impossible that he never appreciated any of those." The blue haired girl walked in front of her and looked straight in her eyes.

"Do you know why he never looked back?" Rein asked, her stern gaze caused Fine to slightly shudder.

"Eh?"

"Because he's confident someone is waiting for him, someone is cheering for him from behind."

Fine finally woke up. She felt tears crawl on her face as the truth sank in.

"He still has you, Fine."

She was always thinking of him… that she forgot her worth.

* * *

Shade's recovery took longer than expected. They were frightened he wouldn't be able to walk again. When he woke up, his fractured leg wouldn't move according to his will.

But after four months of rehabilitation to restore his limb, he was able to move around again. He was discharged from the hospital and decided to follow Rein who's returning to Tokyo.

No updates from them since they left. Fine just hoped everything would be okay between them and little by little, she moved forward with the help of those people around her.

"It's been a year, huh…" Fine looked up, soft snow tapped against her smooth cheek. She adjusted her scarf and pulled it up to her nose. Her gloved hands shoved inside her trench coat's pocket, the heels of her mid-kneecap boots marred the pure surface of drifted snow.

The bleach-white snow cloaked the land. The barren skies were silent. A few people would venture out to do their daily routines and Fine was one of them.

She rubbed her hands up and down her arms to produce even a little amount of warmth.

"Fine?" A familiar voice called her from behind. It's the voice she missed so much.

Out of impulse, Fine turned around and met his dark blue eyes a-flicker with surprise.

"Shade…" she breathed out. Her nose immediately turned red as she sniffed and pushed back the tears threatening to fall.

They decided to enter a small café so they can comfortably catch up to everything.

"Where did you get that?" Fine asked, reaching his face to trace the scratches.

"Huh?" Shade looked up, jerking his face sideways when her cold fingers came in contact with his skin.

Fine quickly withdrew her hand before answering. "Those scratch on your cheek," she pointed out, lifting a finger to touch her own cheek.

Shade pressed a palm on his cheek. "Rein did it." He replied with a dismissive shrug.

Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "What happened?" she prods.

"Clawed it because she thinks I'm cute." Shade chuckled, propping his chin on his palm.

Fine stifled a laugh. "Ridiculous. The only thing that Rein finds cute is her pet Poomo." She argued.

Shade shook his head, a smile not leaving his face. "Okay. She slapped me." He admits.

Fine looked closely, anticipating _that_ gesture. Indeed, he lifted an eyebrow and crinkled his nose.

"Why?" She frowned.

"I was fooling around again." Shade answered simply, his eyes dropping on his reflection in the honey-colored tea.

Fine heaved out a sigh. "Come on. Don't give up! You're just starting!" She exclaimed.

Shade chuckled, his eyes not leaving the cup. "So many times have I heard that from you but nothing happens. I'm always at the start, not moving, not progressing. I'm always stuck at the start. I was never able to finish anything." He breathed out.

Shade heard metal scraping and before he could figure it out, Fine moved closer and poked his forehead.

"Stupid. Are you giving up now? Then what do you think of all your achievements back then? Are you not the one who accomplished them?" She admonished, her fists placed on either side of her waist.

"You have a point." Shade smiled, pressing a palm on his forehead, wishing for the gentle pain to stay longer.

He stifled a laugh, confusing Fine. A second earlier he was brooding, now he's laughing. She could really never tell what's running on his mind.

"Fine…" He called, startling her slightly.

"H-huh?" Fine stammered.

"Do you think I can start again?" He asked.

Fine's eyes lit up. "Of course!" she cheered.

After that conversation, she heard nothing about him anymore. Two years passed and everyone had set foot on various directions.

Rein was an achiever. She pursued master's degree right after she graduated in college.

Bright was working under his dad's business.

Shade was last seen residing in an apartment near their former school but his neighbor's informed that the handsome young man left the city and went to who-knows-where.

Fine couldn't grasp why her feet took her to the place where they stumbled upon each other. She entered the small café, eyes darted on the students occupying the table where they last had a conversation.

Fine realized there's still a part of her that misses him.

"Hey…" she felt a hand poke her cheek.

Fine yelped and got into a defensive stance. Her body moved out of pure instinct.

She looked up and saw Bright. His crimson-red eyes a-dazzle with mirth, a hand clamped on his mouth as he bit down a snicker.

"Uh, sorry. Hi…" she sheepishly grinned.

The attractive blonde heaved out a sigh and raised a hand to pat her head. "How are you?" He asked.

Fine removed the hand on her head and shook it. "I'm okay, I guess." she answered with a shrug.

"Looking for a job, I see." Bright observed as he politely took the documents tucked in her arms.

"Ah…yeah…" Fine forced out a smile. "Do you want to continue the conversation sitting?" she offered, pulling out a chair.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should be the one doing that." Bright mumbled, his pearl-white teeth bit down his lower lip. A blush dusted his cheeks which made him look insanely cute.

Fine realized that he always does that gesture whenever he's embarrassed.

"Do you want to apply in the company where I'm working?" Bright recommends, gesturing the waitress for the menu.

"I'm sorry?" Fine coughed out in surprise.

"The job is simple anyway." Bright shrugged. His nonchalant eyes bored on hers and it reminded her of Shade.

"So you mean doing countless paperwork is simple?!" Fine spluttered.

Bright chuckled, a smirk pulled the corners of his lips. "I just wanted to see your reaction and you never fail to amuse me." He spoke then winked.

"Wh-what?!" was all she could reply as she was too occupied fighting back a blush.

Bright and Fine dated for a few months but it did not turn out well. Bright, being the extremely caring guy he is, gave her back the freedom she needs.

One evening, she received a message from Rein saying that she'll return home to officially introduce his fiancée.

The news burned a permanent mark on Fine's heart. So, it was useless waiting, huh? He's going to marry Rein.

So he was in Tokyo all along.

Her heart couldn't take the pain. She slumped on her bed, her tears staining the pillows.

She wiped her tears and inhaled sharply.

She has to prepare to meet him tomorrow and give them a proper, congratulatory message.

The idea had an intensely bitter flavor in it. However... she can't hold any grudges against him or her sister.

But… who came that night was not Shade. It's a guy named Toma Kitagawa.

Certainly, the young man is on a different scale. He became a model at twelve and he owns an imaging studio. But, what about Shade? What happened to him?

Right after dinner, Fine took the opportunity to clarify things with Rein.

"Rein… can we talk?" Fine requested.

Rein followed her outside.

"Wh-who is that?" Her voice cracked.

"Toma-kun and I have been dating for over a year." Rein informed.

"Over a year? What happened to Shade?" Fine quietly asked, keeping an eye on the silver-haired guy who joined them outside.

Rein looked at her, puzzled. "Eh? Did he not tell you? We broke up three years ago."

Fine's eyes dilated as the words left her lips. "Three years ago?"

" _Where did you get that?"_

" _Huh?"_

" _Those scratch on your cheek."_

" _Rein did it."_

" _What happened?"_

" _Clawed it because she thinks I'm cute."_

He has been hiding it, all these years?

"He requested that he will be the one to tell you. I just respected his decision." Rein explained, exhaling deeply.

Fine sank on her knees. She shook her head in attempt to hide the tears. "But he didn't…" she choked out.

"Eh?" Rein's eyes grew wide.

"He didn't tell me…anything." Fine whimpered.

"Are you okay?" Toma asked, offering a hand.

 _Am I okay?_

* * *

Rein decided to help her look for him. Three months passed and they finally got his current location.

And she saw him. Apparently, he's working in a mine.

Coals, twice his size, are slumped on his back.

 _Just like how he always shouldered all his fears, burdens and responsibilities._

Her eyes shifted to the side and lightly bit her lip in attempt to hide any sound threatening to escape her lips.

Several contusions decorated his body. Scars marred his prominent features.

With a low grunt, Shade dropped the coal on a wheelbarrow and his co-worker transferred it to a cart. Dusts mixed in the air. Fine blinked her eyes several times, tears dripped from her eyelids and slid down to her flushed cheeks.

"Hey, kid!" An old man called from behind. Shade brushed a hand on his unkempt hair and drearily turned.

"That's enough. Take a break." The old man beamed, giving him a pat on his bare shoulder.

"Ah… thank you, sir." Shade bowed and grabbed his shirt to wipe off the sweat and dirt on his skin.

He sauntered off towards her direction. Fine gasped, frantically searching for a corner to hide but it's too late.

She reluctantly lifted her head and their eyes met. His wide eyes glazed with layers of tears. Behind his nonchalant expression, there is sadness and shock.

She was so lost in his eyes. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she hurried to wipe them away.

"Gone to finish me off?" He grumbled, wrapping a hand around her wrist and pulled her to a safe corner.

"What?" Fine spluttered, pulling her wrist.

"You probably hate me too, don't you?" Shade huffed.

Her lip trembled as the words slowly made their way out of her mouth. "Yeah... I hate you," she blatantly replied, tears flowed unchecked and slid off her chin.

His eyes dilated. Her words were like knives piercing his chest. The pain was worse than the time he was rushed to the hospital. It felt like a cold bucket of water was poured on him.

Does he really want to let her go?

"Why didn't you ask for help? I could have done something to help you!" She ranted, throwing weak punches on his chest.

"You make me feel so worthless—" Before her knees collapsed, Shade placed his hands below her arms and gathered her close to his chest.

He pulled away slightly and looked at the coals staining her dress.

How can she do this to herself? Always moving out of her way just to show how much she cares.

It must be tiring, right? To be so generous for someone so ungrateful...

He hissed, his grip on her arms tightened.

"Worthless? You're joking, right? All my life you had been there for me..." Shade drawled, brushing a hand on her face wet with tears.

Fine gasped as his body towered over her small frame.

Brick by brick, his walls tumbled down.

"I felt so ashamed that I'm nothing without you…I'm sorry but I had to prove that I deserve you." He admitted. His face buried on her shoulders, hands clutching on the sleeves of her dress.

"I didn't know but when Rein hated me... I actually didn't care about it. But... if it's you..." he paused, releasing a quivering breath.

"I don't know what will happen to me without you, Fine. Please... don't hate me." Shade pleads as his hands found their way on her small waist, pulling her closer.

Fine felt her breath caught when tears tapped on her shoulder unceasingly. She held him quietly, brushing his hair comfortingly as he poured out raw emotions.

He lifted his head and allowed her to wipe away his tears.

"Fine…"

"Hmm?"

"Can I stay beside you?"

"Of course."

* * *

That's the last part. Next chapter is a series of crazy omakes.


	3. Extra

**Tales of the Cold Glass of Water**

I don't know but... I've had enough of angst. Haha. Read at your heart's content! Last update and I'm on hiatus again. See you whenever I can!

* * *

 **OMAKE 1**

Inside a lavish restaurant...

Our handsome blonde, gorgeously messed his hair as he gripped a glass of cold water. He had prepared it for the girl who broke his heart. But she refused to lift her head since she arrived. How can he execute his plan now?!

He was leaning casually on his seat, captivating blood-red eyes stared down at her.

"I'm sorry..." Fine sobbed, her forehead pressed on the table.

He gulped the water, droplets slowly traveled down his neck down to his collarbones, tracing his gorgeous features.

The other customers who happened to watch the scene unfold, including Rein, fainted clean away with blood rushing out of their noses.

"Thank you for making me your rebound guy." He muttered through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry..." Fine repeated, sobbing harder.

"Just get out of here and get out of my life too. Kindly do it, now." Damn, angry Bright is gorgeous Bright.

Those who just recovered fainted again, including Rein.

Fine gasped in surprise. _"Is it just me or he took my line from a different story?"_

* * *

 **OMAKE 2**

Inside a lavish restaurant…

Bright stared as the glass was filled with cold water. The waiter excused himself after pouring Fine's glass too.

"I'm sorry…" Fine mumbled, biting her lip lightly.

His hand quivered as he gripped the glass. Fine braced herself for the coldness.

"Hey… water," Shade suddenly stepped in, his voice raspy.

"What are you doing here?" Bright muttered, signaling the waiter for another glass.

"Volleyball practice at the park across this place," Shade answered then gulped the refreshing liquid.

Fine followed the trails of water dripping down his neck down to his collarbones.

His hair messed, sweat sliding down his face which he quickly scrubbed away. His shirt plastered on his lean sturdy physique, revealing his toned muscles.

"Oh, hi Fine…" He smiled.

Fine fainted clean away.

* * *

 **OMAKE 3**

 **Shine version**

Fine had a scathing glare marring her features. Her hand quavered as she gripped the glass of cold water. She had it prepared for him. She plans to splash it in his face so he could finally wake up. But the guy just stared at her apathetically, extremely bored to death. How can she execute her plan now?!

"Thank you for making me your rebound girl." She muttered through gritted teeth.

"Heh. Who asked you to fall in love?" Shade scoffed, lifting an eyebrow and crinkling his nose.

Fine gawked. _How dare he?!_

"That's not what you're supposed to say!" She spat, pointing a finger on his chest.

"Really?" Shade nonchalantly replied. "Ah, sorry…" he mumbled, an apologetic look crossed his features.

Fine smiled in triumph and folded her arms across her chest.

"You're welcome." He breathed into her ear and walked out on her.

Fine jaw dropped.

 _Thank you for making me you're rebound girl._

Well, she did say "thank you".

The next thing Shade knew he was tackled on the ground with Fine laughing evilly behind him.

* * *

 **OMAKE 4**

 **Brein style**

Rein pulled on a glare but she couldn't direct it at Bright. Her hand trembled as she held the glass of cold water. She had it prepared for him. But her beloved, blonde guy refused to lift his head since he arrived. How can she execute her plan now?

She inhaled sharply, internally debating whether to splash it in his face or just put it aside and pull him in her arms. A part of her really wants to forgive him and it's winning.

"Thank you… for making me your rebound girl," her voice cracked, Bright let out a muffled sob.

"I'm sorry, Rein. Please, forgive me, my love…" He sniffled, taking her hand in his.

Rein averted her gaze. She can't forgive him easily.

But, he's making it difficult for her.

Bright brushed his lips on her fist and it made her drop the glass on the floor.

"Pl-please… don't do this…" Rein whimpered, tears streamed down her flushed cheeks.

Bright gasped and quickly wrapped his arms around her. "No, please don't cry…" he begged.

"No, you shouldn't cry… I'm not worth it…" Rein sobbed, wiping the tears on his face.

"No, I deserve this…" Bright whispered, leaning his forehead on hers.

"No! I'm sorry!"

"No! Don't apologize!"

Shade and Fine seethes. "YOU TWO ARE ACTING SO MOE MOE!"

* * *

 **OMAKE 5**

 **Shein version**

Shade bored his eyes on the condensation forming in the cold glass of water. His hand slowly gripped the glass, the coldness bit his skin lightly.

He looked up to examine the face of his company. She had an apologetic look on her beautiful face since she arrived.

She lightly bit her lower lip, which looked sexy in his eyes.

"I'm sorry…" she exhaled deeply, pressing her forehead on the table. Shade's fast reflexes allowed him to insert a hand between her forehead and the table.

"Look at me, Rein." He requested. Rein raised her head, a blush seared through her cheeks.

Shade heaved out a sigh.

"Why did you erase my memories?" He asked, averting his eyes on her cute face.

Amaterasu- er, Rein's eyes brimmed with tears and it made him gulp.

His grip on the glass tightened.

"They're not worth remembering…" she paused, then her eyes looked up at him, making him shudder in surprise. "Yes. They deserve to be forgotten." she continued, her hand brushed the strands falling across her face, exposing the soft stare in her eyes.

Shade felt his face heat up, causing him to gulp the glass of water.

 _I see now why there's a glass of water here._

* * *

Sigh. I've got nothing to do so I came up with it. Thanks for the reviews! I'll give proper feedback next time. Ciaossu~


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